Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places?

There is something deeply human about wanting to belong. We are wired for connection. We long for friendship, intimacy, family, and community. We are meant to love and be loved. But there is another relationship that is just as essential, and perhaps even more important.

The relationship we have with ourselves.

Our own heart.
Our own soul.
Our own center.

Living as a single woman for more than 20 years, I certainly have moments when I long for another. A dear friend. A loving partner. Someone to share everyday moments with. But if I'm honest, that's only a very small part of me. The other 99% is deeply content with the life I've created. A life of freedom. Quietude. Simplicity. A life where I get to fully embrace the rhythm of my own journey.

Somewhere along the way, society convinced us that fulfillment comes from finding "the one."  I'm not so sure.

I believe the most important partnership we will ever have is the one with ourselves. Learning to enjoy our own company is not settling. It's not giving up. It is discovering sovereignty. It is finding such comfort in your own presence that solitude becomes nourishing rather than something to escape.

That doesn't mean we never feel lonely. Loneliness visits all of us, whether we live alone or share a home with others. Some people feel lonelier in relationships than they ever do by themselves. The invitation is not to avoid loneliness. The invitation is to move through it until you discover the quiet peace waiting underneath.

I'm ordering a new book called On My Own, which explores the art of being a woman alone, and it has me reflecting on this question:

How comfortable are you with your own company?

Can you sit quietly with yourself?

Can you enjoy your own thoughts, your own rhythms, your own life?

Last week's Love Letter was about finding your groove. Dropping into the center of the center of the center of yourself. I believe this is where everything begins. When we know how to return to that place inside, our outer circumstances no longer define our sense of peace.

My friend, Holly Copeland and I call this Inner Rewilding.

As an environmental scientist, Holly describes Rewilding as "allowing the land to return to its natural state. Untamed. Intelligent. Resilient. Whole." The same is true for us.

When we stop trying to fix ourselves and begin returning to our true nature, we remember that peace has been within us all along.

Tomorrow, Holly and I are offering a Free Master Class where we'll share the Four Directions of Inner Rewilding and guide you through simple practices to reconnect with your own center, attune to the rhythms of life, and find your way back whenever the world pulls you off course.

Whether you're divorced, widowed, single, navigating a difficult relationship, or have a healthy partnership yet still feel disconnected from yourself, this conversation is for you. Because the greatest relationship you will ever cultivate is the one you have with your own heart.

From that place, we become free. Free to love without clinging. Free to enjoy companionship without depending on it. Free to experience laughter, adventure, intimacy, and community while remaining deeply rooted within ourselves.

Perhaps loneliness isn't asking us to find someone else. Perhaps it's inviting us to come home. To become all one with ourselves, expressing the wild and free spirit that we are.